I don’t need to be your everyday but I’d like to be your moments
In the morning with your coffee and biscotti
Around 2 when the tired day keeps dragging on
When your world starts discriminating
Later in the afternoon, when the sun is ticking your face
When you go on a spring walk
Whenever you need to talk at 3 am, or anytime
When you’re stumbling and you’ve lost your keys
On Saturdays when it’s raining
Or even when you feel like you want some homemade baking
At night when the evening is dark
When all you need is pillow talk
and candy kisses and other things
That’s all I need, to be part of those moments
If your family is your home, and your home is where they are, do you lose your home when they are gone?
If they were all to disappear, all die, or just all go about their own ways and be disintegrated through out the world, where would your home be?
If you don’t have your immediate family and you don’t quite have your own yet, no marriage with starry-eyed blood lined children, where would your home be.
They say home is where the heart is but where is home when your heart is frozen over cold?
What I want is what all want, and even those that deny that they want it, want it.
I want a love with no limits, an endless love filled with passion and depth. I want a love that comes with being best friends, teachers and students, and partners in everything.
To sweep me up in every moment, to take me up and under. When the screams come to kiss louder and when the tears fall to dance faster. Together, and always.
I want a love who will understand me, who wont change me but better me. I want a love who will want to be near me, grow with me, explore with me, and never want to lose me.
Fight, look, and talk for only me because of desire, lust, and simply because of want.
I want a love where I would do all these things for them.
I want to move far away
but I find myself nervous everyday.
It’s my life so off I should go,
but I hit myself blow after blow.
I’d rather say, at least I tried
but instead I sit here and hide
To be alone, to be lost
to leave everything behind seems like such a large cost.
Or is it?
To be small, to start new
to go someplace and finally feel like you.
That may be the greatest gift
so off I go to find my lift.
I’m misunderstood but that’s okay, I’ve always liked life better that way.
I say this, but they think I mean that, I do it this way and get trampled like a welcome mat.
If I cared what people thought I would probably take a shot, but I don’t, never did, never will.
I know I’m different in the head, but my blood is still red, so maybe it’s you that’s confused.
If we were all meant to agree, we would be stiff like trees, and that’s really not a life for me.
I’ve always gotten in trouble for speaking what I think, being told to hush hush, and being forced to lip sync. I don’t want to be a doll and have a voice box installed, so let me be. Just let me be.
People think I’m crazy, cuz I say what’s on my mind, but last time I checked those who zipped it were blind. The people we remember were always a little better, cuz they said it and no one could forget it.
I’d rather be misunderstood and challenge what I think isn’t good, you can like it, you can hate it, it’s all fine by me.
One day, too soon, it will happen and it won’t matter how you find out, or when you find out, because by the time you are finding out, it will be too late.
Your baby, your boo, the person you were just so head over heels with and swore up and down was going to come back to you, will be with someone else.
Maybe a friend will tell you, maybe you will see a picture on Facebook, or maybe your ex is going to be the one to tell you, but when you find out you are going to do some digging, crying, and self-doubting.
It’s going to hurt and you may not understand this type of pain. It may come on waves of anger and sadness, but what it is, is betrayal. Even though you and this other person have broken up and gone separate ways, some part of you, no matter how tiny, thought there was a chance you’d get back together and seeing them laughing with someone else or hearing how happy they are with someone else is a reality slap.
You will say at least once to your friends “I’m better looking then him/her, right?”
And being friends they will say yes, even if you are not.
You are going to wonder if this new someone is better then you, what they have that you don’t, and you are going to wonder if your ex still cares about you.
It won’t matter how many people tell you bad gossip about your ex’s new toy and it won’t matter how many rebounds you have or dates you go on, it’s going to suck when you find out.
Don’t be ashamed of what you feel during this time, because you rightfully should feel horrible. This person that you shared so much of your life with, who you thought about bonding with for life, and who enjoyed life with you for a while is now doing all of those things with someone else, and that is hard to swallow.
Call it jealousy, call it envy, call it whatever you want, but the reason that it sucks is because it is the last piece of hope you are holding on to for that person and you to work it out, is being shattered.
Understand that although you will feel this way over someone else, chances are, you are going to make someone else feel this way and accept that it is just a part of life and you have every right to feel like crap when the person you had been with moves on and lets go of you.