Tossing and turning at night brings heavy circles under my eyes, but I can’t sleep, I can’t think because my heart is hurting. The space where your head should fall is empty and I can’t keep thinking when will it be filled by your thick brown hair and smiling eyes.
The finger spaces in my hands have been spotted, searching, for rings to fill their spaces but nothing feels as right as your hands in mine. Wetting my lips does nothing, but remind me of your kisses, and my head is spinning dizzy with thorough thoughts of missing you.
They say when you lose someone you love your life feels empty, or like it is missing something. My life doesn’t feel empty, it doesn’t feel halved, but instead it feels forced. My artistic eye can’t find the beauty in life, the colors are faded and I know why. You were the light in my life, and since you have left everything has cooled.
I live daily because I have to, but things won’t be the same while you aren’t here. I just wait, and hope, that soon you will come back to me.
Why is at night time we miss and crave human companionship the most?
After all, we are going to sleep and floating off into a dream world where anything is possible. It’s not like while we are sleeping we are spending time with the person who is lying in bed with us.
Is it just a comfort we desire? The comfort of knowing we are falling asleep next to someone we trust, someone who cares, someone who can protect us through the night? Or is it the comfort of rolling over through the night and feeling their blanket of warmth against us, resting our head on their heartbeat and feeling their breath on our necks? Maybe we crave the morning we awake to a sweet kiss, a smile, morning play or someone to say good morning to.
Whatever the reason, before we all drift away we think about one last person. The person we are missing, or wishing was laying down with us.
And what’s funny, is when you are finally in bed with that person you don’t think of anyone else. You just easily close your eyes and dream.
do you remember when we were fighting, and you came to my sisters birthday party? We barely spoke all day, and we got into a water fight. You pushed me in the mud, sprayed my face with water and just when I was about to say “You’re so mean, get off” you kissed me.
You kissed me. You kissed me like you meant it, like you loved me. I knew you loved me with that kiss, it was the perfect kiss. It was my second favorite kiss with you.
I miss you.